Or Maybe it’s Just Procrastination
by Loralyn Mears, PhD
Here I sit at my desk, determined to publish an article every Friday. But Houston, we have a problem: it’s Saturday, and the sun has already set.This goal seems simple enough. I’ll just put my fingers to the keyboard, channel my inner Shakespeare, vibrate at my zone of genius, and voilà! A masterpiece should emerge. But no, my brain has other plans. I suffer from what I affectionately call “Squirrel Syndrome” – a much nicer euphemism for ADHD, which is getting a bad rep and is so. Totally. Overdone.
The Ping-Pong Match of Distractions
Picture this: I open my laptop, the concept clear in my head. Then my phone pings. I answer a few texts and shut down all notifications. But I forget one. My laptop pings again – it’s WhatsApp desktop. Ugh. My friends’ texting habits annoy me. They use only a few words per message, stringing together full sentences that result in a dozen pings every time they contact me. Before I know it, I dive deep into a rabbit hole of links they’ve sent. One minute I’m trying to write, and the next, I’m watching a cat in a tiny superhero cape cuddling with a mouse. How can I compete with that? The squirrel in me jumps up and down, waving its little paws, screaming, “Forget the article! Look at this adorable cat!”
The Laundry Saga
I close the cat video (for now) and return to my article. But then I remember my laundry. Is it done? Nope. Great, now I’ll have to interrupt my flow again to check later. In a desperate attempt to focus, I pull up my purple Substack envelope with graffiti-style bubble letters. Somehow, I delude myself into thinking it will keep me on task. Did the washing machine just finish? Better check. Nope, still going, but getting close.
The Pomodoro Predicament
Determined, I return to my desk and set a timer. “Okay, brain, you have 25 minutes. Pomodoro method magic – let’s go! No distractions!” I type a few sentences, and then—oh no! A strange noise outside catches my attention. Is that a bird? A squirrel? My brain now believes this is a matter of life and death. I must investigate! Oh no, the bird feeder is empty. I’d better refill it. So I do. After an uneventful backyard inspection, I return to my desk, crack my knuckles, and position my fingers for success. Just then, the washing machine finishes. I can’t resist the urge to transfer the wet sheets to the dryer.
The Final Sprint
Determined, I crack on. But wait! Did I put a dryer sheet in there? I can’t recall. Better go back and check. Eventually, I pull myself together and finish writing. I breathe a sigh of relief. I’ve done it! I’m ready to publish, albeit a day late. But as I sit back, I already wonder what I’ll write next week. Next FRIDAY, to be specific. The squirrel in me twitches with excitement, ready to chase new distractions.
Embracing the Chaos
You might wonder, “Is an AI bot more productive because it’s less distracted?” Maybe. But I’m waaaay more interesting! My brain might zigzag like a caffeinated honeybee, but it also stumbles upon connections that a straight-line thinker might miss. Sure, I might get sidetracked by a superhero cat video, but who knows? That could inspire my next viral article! So here’s to all the fellow procrastinators who somehow manage to get it done. Let’s embrace our inner squirrels! Maybe we could help each other out with friendly reminders about the nuts we’re supposed to be gathering. After all, in the grand forest of creativity, sometimes it’s the squirrels who find the tastiest acorns. And who knows? Maybe next week, I’ll actually publish on Friday. But let’s not get ahead of ourselves – there’s probably a fascinating dust bunny under my desk that needs investigating first.